you are not alone
It's common and reasonable to feel overwhelmed and hopeless when you've spent a lifetime of having your identity and worth rejected and invalidated. You are valuable and worthy and your death would be a tragedy.
What you should do:
What you should do:
- Take a few deep breaths
- Make a coping card or contact a professional crisis lifeline OR call 911
- Have a trusted friend take you to the nearest emergency room
- Know that your life is valuable, and your death would be a tragedy
- Are your transgender or questioning? We have resources to help you navigate your transition
- There are thousands of people working to protect your life. We are here for you.
Grab a Lifeline
In the United States
Outside of the United States and Canada
Make a Coping Card
Coping cards have been shown to be effective tools for helping other individuals who are feeling emotionally overwhelmed take action to overcome their distress in a crisis situation. If you think that now or sometime in the future you would benefit from having such a tool, please follow the steps below. Additionally, please consider contacting a trusted friend, relative, mental health professional, or a professional crisis lifeline to talk about what you have been experiencing. Many people will experience difficult circumstances throughout their lives, and sometimes just talking to someone who cares can help.
1. Find a small piece of paper, index card, or even open up a notepad application in your cell phone.
2. At the top of the paper, write “Crisis response plan: When I’m upset and thinking about suicide I will take the following steps”
- Step 1: Do something you enjoy, that usually makes you feel good for at least 30 minutes. (Some people say reading a book, listening to music, calling a friend, or watching TV helps them to feel better).
- Step 2: If you do not feel better, try step 1 one more time.
- Step 3: If you continue to feel overwhelmed or think about suicide, find your thoughts becoming more specific, and you feel unsafe being alone, call someone who can provide assistance (maybe a friend, neighbor, or relative who lives close, maybe a professional crisis lifeline.
- Step 4: If you continue to experience thoughts of suicide and feel unsafe at home, call a friend, relative, taxi, or 911 to get to the nearest emergency room.
Helping Someone In Crisis
When your loved one is in crisis it can be scary because you want them to be okay. It is normal to feel panic and fear. The way you respond will make a big difference in their recovery. Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts, and death by suicide is no one’s fault. Suicide is the unfortunate result of extreme mental illness, the effects of which compound over time. Often, there is not anything any one person can do to prevent a suicide. However, you have taken the first step in helping your loved one in their time of crisis, which is seeking more information in how to help them. Now that you know what suicide is, know the signs, and have a list of resources you will be better equipped to help your loved one. If you feel you need additional support, please call a crisis lifeline.
How to Respond
Unfortunately, we do not have a clear answer about what causes suicide. The theory which we ascribe to is the Interpersonal-Psychological Theory of Suicide which suggests that suicide is a three part interaction between feelings of social disconnection (thwarted belongingness), feelings of being a burden to oneself or others (perceived burdensomeness), and the ability to overcome the fear of death (fearlessness about death). Suicide is not selfish, cowardly, or a choice. It is the result of intense psychological distress caused by a psychological disorder. People who die by suicide often do not want to die, and many people who survive attempts report regretting making the attempt almost immediately after they made it. As a close friend or family member, you play an important role in preventing suicide. Therefore, it is important that you consider the warning signs of suicide if you observe abnormal behavior in your loved one. Remember, however, that regardless of the outcome, if your loved one makes a suicide attempt it is not your fault.
If someone talks about:
- Being a burden to others
- Feeling trapped
- Experiencing unbearable pain
- Having no reason to live
- Killing themselves
- Loss of interest
- Increased substance use
- Reckless or aggressive behaviors
- Social withdrawal
- Changes in sleeping patterns
- Saying goodbye to people
- Giving away money or possessions
- Bipolar (manic-depressive) disorder
- Borderline or antisocial personality disorder
- Conduct disorder
- Psychotic disorders or symptoms
- Anxiety disorders
- Substance abuse disorders
- Serious or chronic health condition/pain
- Stressful Life Events
- Prolonged stress factors
- Access to lethal means
- Exposure to graphic suicide accounts
- Previous suicide attempts
- Family history of suicide attempts
- Remain calm, non-judgemental, and supportive
- Communicate your concern and love for that person
- Avoid using terms like “selfish” or “did you think about how would I feel?”
- Communicate how important they are to you, and that their loss would be devastating to you
- Tell them that you will be with them every step of the way
- Help them find the resources they need, such as a therapist or a national hotline
- Sit down together and create a safety plan or download this app
- Work together to restrict access to means such as their personal firearms, medications, household poisons (e.g., drain cleaner), heavy ropes, etc. until they feel safe again
- Take them to the nearest emergency room if they feel like they might make an attempt
Please be advised. Our online crisis pages are meant to be a free service to connect those in crisis with organizations who can provide 24/7 crisis help. Additionally, these pages are not intended to replace professional help, but rather provide tips as to where anyone should start in seeking crisis help. We are not equipped to provide live crisis help. If you contact us for crisis help, it may be days before anyone responds. Darcy Jeda Corbitt Foundation and MyTransitionPartner do not vet the resources we provide on this website. We cannot guarantee the helpfulness or quality of the external resources we provide. Content on the links provided are reflective of the opinions and experience of the content's author. Linked external pages do no imply endorsement.
Who We Are
Darcy Jeda Corbitt Foundation is a 501(c)(3) public charity promoting the health and global wellbeing of transgender, queer, and gender nonconforming individuals. All donations are tax-deductible to the fullest extent allowed by US Federal Tax Code.
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