Change is a Good Thing - August 2017

In the last seven years, I have found that the key to a healthy, affirming life is rejecting the plan and opt instead to being open to catch what life throws at you and run with it until you find a new aspect of your identity. Making a major life transition is never easy. My first big transition occurred in 2011, when I was outed as a gay man on the campus of a very conservative Christian university in Alabama. Later, in 2013, I began the process of living an open and affirming life as a transgender woman while still living in Alabama. Two years later, I transitioned to my new life in North Dakota. And now, two years after that transition, I am making the move back to Auburn, Alabama to continue the work I started there and finish my PhD in Human Development and Family Studies. This process of refining my personal narrative and selecting the best pathway to support my journey has been both incredibly difficult and incredibly rewarding.
 
In fact, in the last seven years I have redefined my sexuality, gender identity, career goals, life aspirations, and even personal philosophy.
 
Some may see this as me being wishy-washy. The reality is, that this cycle of change is a normal part of development in emerging adulthood. To explore who we are and what we want is a normal and healthy component of being a young person. And in my experience, both personally and as an advocate, developmental scientist, and as a trained therapist, any person who feels that they have a good handle on who they are and what they want is on the cusp of finding out they have no idea who they are or what they want. Because it is in our nature as complex human beings to be in a constant state of flux, and that is perfectly fine. Without the ability to change, we would not evolve as a species or as a society.
 
The best part of this cycle of change is that even in our plasticity there is still constancy.
 
With all of the life changes I have undergone in the last decade, I am fundamentally the same person. I may identify as a woman, understand my sexuality as much broader and more nonbinary than I first surmised, work for social justice, and be making the conscious and willing decision to move back to the South, but my core being has not changed. I am still a compassionate, driven person who cares deeply about the psychosocial wellbeing of the most vulnerable members of our society. I am a devout Christian and humanist who seeks to improve humanity through unconditional goodwill and an honest and supportive openness to the diversity of the divine. I am a merciful and longsuffering daughter, granddaughter, sister, niece, cousin, and friend who patiently bears with her family and long-time friends’ often bumbling attempts at understanding who she is. I am a hopeful woman waiting to find the right person to love and be loved by and start a family with. In spite of changing terms, attractions, life goals, and location, who I am at my core has not, and will most likely never, change.
 
This week I am making the 1,500 mile trek from Fargo, ND, to Auburn, AL, alone.
 
This arduous adventure is a perfect metaphor for the last seven years of my life. I am setting out on a difficult journey alone. While I want to reach the destination, getting there is something I’ve dreaded for most of 2017. It is difficult driving this far by yourself, and it is terrifying as well. Similarly, when I began the journey toward an open and affirming life, I had very little real partnership in the endeavor. Don’t get me wrong, I had many supportive and helpful friends, just as I have many helpful and supportive friends emotionally supporting me on this trip from a distance. But the real work, managing the exhaustion, stress, uncertainty, and risk of transition was something I had to do largely by myself. And I am definitely stronger for it. Even so, had I not been as strong as I was and as courageous as I was I probably would not have made it this far.
 
I started MyTransitionPartner.com to address the lack of support many transgender folk in rural states like Alabama and North Dakota experience which hampers their identity development.
 
Many people have asked me why I am doing this project. “There are established charities that could be doing this,” they say. And they are right: other people could be doing this. But they weren’t. I will be honest, there are days this endeavor is discouraging, and I feel like I am wasting my time. A large part of my job as the leader of this organization is public relations and fundraising. In the last nine months, I have spoken to a lot of people who are really supportive of what we are trying to accomplish. I have also met a lot of supportive people who are unwilling to provide us with the financial support we need to make this endeavor viable. And when you, like the eleven people on our team and myself, work your paying job, go to school, and come home and spend your post homework free time working to develop resources for MyTransitionPartner.com, it is really distressing and discouraging to see that we could only raise $55 during our July challenge for our hormone replacement therapy grants.    
 
If my journey over the last seven years has taught me anything, it is that discouragement and setbacks are the motivation we need to continue the struggle forward.
 
In the aftermath of the President’s transgender ban announcement, my team and I were reminded of the importance of the work we do. In 24-hours, our web traffic increased 400%. Our Facebook following increased from 150 to 350. We provided direct support to people on social media and email. Our ally badges on Facebook were applied to over 15,000 profile pictures. In a very small and seemingly insignificant way we are making a difference in people’s lives. We are helping over 1,000 people daily to make that difficult journey of figuring out who they are or supporting their transgender loved one. We are working to ensure people in flux are not alone. And that is with a bare-bones budget in our spare time. Just think of what we could accomplish with more.
 
Remember in your state of flux, as you become a better version of you, my team and I are here for you.
 
Darcy Corbitt-Hall She/Her/Hers
President and CEO

Notice Board

Regional Offices Established. The Executive Board has established regional offices in Chicago, IL (Midwestern states), Auburn, AL (Southeastern states), and Lubbock, TX (Southwestern states as US Caribbean Territories), to manage community projects, development, and volunteer recruitment. Key operational divisions will also be housed in regional offices. We are seeking volunteers to head regional operations in the Western United States and Northeastern United States.
 
Executive Office Relocation. Our Executive Office is relocating to Auburn, Alabama. Operations, volunteer management, and finances will be managed from this location. It will also serve as the regional office for the Southeastern Region. Our Home Office will remain in Fargo, ND, with development, grantmaking, and communications being managed from this office.
 
Program and Community Division Relocation. The Programs and Community Division is now housed with our Midwestern Regional office in Chicago.
 
State Resource Guides. Our Summer Internship Program completed state resource guides for the Midwestern Region. Our program and community committee is working to review this content, and it will be available soon. We are seeking volunteers in the Western United States, New England, and the Southwestern United States to develop these guides in these regions.
 
ND Dignity Grant Applications will be available mid-August. Due to the move of our executive offices, the application period was delayed.
 
Next Board Meeting: September, 16, 2-2:30pm.