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healthy and affirming sexual and romantic relationships

  • Healthy/unhealthy relationships
  • Safe sex
  • Annual examinations
  • Fertility/reproduction
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Relationships can be complicated for transgender people. Many times, this is because sexual or romantic partners are embarrassed about having sex with or dating a trans person because of how they perceive this alters their sexual orientation. In reality, dating a trans person does not alter your sexual orientation because you are dating a man or a woman or a nonbinary person, not their body parts. Sexual attraction is not just physical, it also is about the psychological and social connection you have with that person.

A healthy relationship:
  • Goes at a pace that is comfortable for every person in the relationship
  • Affirms and respects the identity of each partner
  • Involves trusting that each partner is affirming and will not harm you
  • Promotes independent interests and individual identity
  • Is honest, open, and loyal
  • Shows compassion and unconditional positive regard
  • Each partner takes responsibility for their actions

An unhealthy relationship:
  • Goes too fast, is intense, and feels overwhelming
  • One or more partners is jealous or manipulative or uses guilt to control
  • One or more partners is isolated from friends and family
  • One or more partners is belittled or has their reputation attacked publicly by the other(s)
  • Is unpredictable, unreasonable, or violent
  • One or more partners deflects responsibility for their actions
  • One or more partners betrays trust, confidence, or is unloyal

Next Steps:

It is possible to transgender folk to have affirming sexual relationships. However, transgender individuals are disproportionately more likely to be sexually assaulted, abused by their partners, and contract STIs. A key reason for these disparities are barriers to healthcare and a fear of talking to providers about sexual health issues.

Next Steps:
Transgender individuals have very unique sexual healthcare needs. Often, it is necessary for transgender folk to have annual checkups which are associated with their sex assigned at birth. This does not make you less of a man or less of a woman. It is important for you to care for the body you have, and affirming providers will approach these exams with respect and compassion.

Next Steps:
Check out these resources from the UCSF Transgender Health Center for trans women and trans men.

It is possible for transgender folk to have children of their own without adoption. Learn more about reproduction here.

Of course, not having children is also okay! Depending on your sexual practices, you may need to consider birth control.

This article is not intended to replace professional medical advice. External links are provided to assist users in their transition by connecting them to more specialized resources. Darcy Jeda Corbitt Foundation and MyTransitionPartner do not vet the resources we provide on this website. We cannot guarantee the helpfulness or quality of the external resources we provide. Content on the links provided are reflective of the opinions and experience of the content's author. Linked external pages do not imply endorsement.